This is so well expressed :-)
Kind of what I've been saying in a slightly different way that the more the fire is allowed to be fuelled( emails extra appointments etc)the more potential for some of us(I would probably put myself in that category)to become increasingly consumed by it-I have had extra appointments occ asionally (in my part of U.K. Once every 2 weeks is pretty much the norm)and although I was able to discuss a seemingly overwhelming situation more frequently which helped to process it I also am very aware that my "need" to talk to 't' also increase exponentially and I find myself thinking of more and more stuff I need to tell him and even manufacturing conversations between us in my head-to the point of worsening my already very bad insomnia and counting the days until next appointment

The pain this causes me and the time consuming nature of it makes me want to do everything I can to avoid it but then it means I have too much I want to say next time and have to spend so much time sorting the priorities as only have an hour-frequency of contact it's a catch 22 for me
I had an enforced 5 week therapy break over xmas /new year as 't' was ill and he works alone so no alternate available unless I just stabbed a finger on a very small list-the first 3 weeks were hell (s h bonanza) but by the 5th I was getting stronger and even angry with him(transference I guess) and first session was a bit uncomfortable for first 10 minutes -if I keep going over old ground with our relationship he will eventually say "we've been here before you're not too much for me I never feel that I don't want to see you but if you keep pushing me away I will eventually listen !! That breaks the thread and we both laugh and move on
Seeking reassurance is human nature and I really really get it