I can't speak to your experience, but I can share mine and hope it helps.

I have a secure attachment to my T. I've had to fight for it, but it's there. For me, it truly is the "secure base" feeling. I feel like the attachment itself isn't what transfers to other people, but I feel that because I have the attachment to her - that I know I have her to fall back on - I am more brave/feel stronger to explore things in my past as well as to take risks in getting closer to people in my relationship circles. If something goes wrong, I find myself running back to my secure base - to my T - for her comfort and help in figuring out what to do or how to fix it, but after I'm settled and feel better, I can go back out and try again.

I know all t/client relationships are different, so I can't speak for you and your T, but for me and mine...I think it's an AND situation. Would I be attached to her if I wasn't her job? No. Do I feel like she manipulated me by therapy tricks into becoming attached to her? No. I think what started as pure "job" stuff developed into a real relationship (within the boundaries of the T relationship). I feel like my T cares about me and I care about her. I DO feel like it is very real, it just happens within the boundaries of a specified type of relationship. I don't feel like I'm feeling 'real' things and hers are not. It's just a boundaried relationship. If you think about it, even friendships are a type of boundaried relationships. Even with my best friends, there are private things about my relationship with my husband that I do not share. There is a boundary there. Boundaries do not mean 'not real'. Paying is for the time and expertise, not the caring.

Good luck figuring it out!