Who says you don't have a secure attachment to your T? Attachment is just like everything else, it isn't either/or, but degrees that may ebb and flow over any period of time. Yes, there's a difference between a secure attachment and not, but it's not just a feeling in my opinion, it's also action. I think if you quit and restart therapy over and over, miss sessions when it's not part of your plan for yourself (i.e. because she didn't respond to your email or text or something), then maybe there's some insecure attachment at work. But I read a lot of your threads and I don't see how you are not securely attached, both in the warm feelings you have for your T and in your reliable showing up to therapy.

I don't get it.