Hi. Your story is very moving, and I was touched by how kind you are, and generous.
I thought of how this might be like what I'm going through, and I can see a couple of comparisons, if you don't mind, I'd say that kind and generous people are often apt to overlook the bad parts about other people, esp. in relationships, we tend to see the best, or to make some kind of coverup for them, often under the disguise of : if I just love them more, if I am just patient, if I just do this or do that - they'll come around, they'll love me back, they'll see what I'm worth.
Unfortunately - all the while, the taker keeps taking knowing they won't have to give anything in return, knowing if they say the right thing it'll still keep coming.
And we do this over and over even for years. Why? I think sometimes we try to recover what is missing in ourselves by replaying the same roles over and over.
Sadly, awareness comes with the pain, this education of yourself comes at a price, you could choose to completely submerse yourself in it, and believe the grief means you just MISS her, making yourself vulnerable to her trying to woo you back, likely when her funds run dry and she is in a pinch.
But, what you really miss is the IDEA of her, the dream of her, and that, according to your story is not what she was. What she was and is, is someone who knows how to play the game, with you, or anyone like you, as a pawn to get what she wants. And what she wants is most important.
I don't think you, or anyone else WANTS to play that role, what we want and need is love and trust and mutual respect. What we get from these people is discard as soon as they get their needs met.
I agree with the others here who've said, you are lucky to be free of her. It will take time for reality to sink in, and for your emotions to pick up, and your heart to heal. But, when they do life will be better than it was. As long as you take the education you got from this pain and try not to repeat it with someone else.
You're free now.