Sunrise hit the nail on the head! I have the same love/hate although my T refers to it as value/devalue. One of the hallmarks of my personality for sure.

Pink, I hope this doesn't upset you but try and focus less on your T and analyzing every word or tone of voice. I do the same thing so I'm not preaching at all. It is such a painful process to realize that the unmet needs that we have must be filled by us and no one person can do that for us.

Think about how your interaction with your T could be similar in your current relationships. For example, do you pick friends, significant others that will eventually disappoint you? or that can't be there emotionally for you? By 'pick' I mean that in the unconcscious sense.

That is what I have learned about why I value/devalue. I did this in all my relationships prior to T. When they were showering me with love and attention, I was on cloud nine and when they couldn't keep up that pace, because no one can, I immediately took that as rejection and felt unloved. Eventually, I moved on to the next relationship and the cycle continued.

Pink, all I can say is that as hard as this is to realize, your T is there for you emotionally, he has proven that over and over, but he cannot fill that empty void forever.

I hope this comes across as helpful to you.