I judged my mom for a long time when she said nothing was her fault because she was an alcoholic. I needed her to love me back. I have stopped judging her and am sorry. She still doesn't pick up the phone most of the time. I think it's useful to say where you are coming from if someone tells you their story, to give what you can, and to walk away if you think they are not respecting your boundaries - lying about anything isn't respectful. My mom says she is bipolar now, so she can drink and take tranquilizers that she self prescribes from the doctor she found, "Dr. Nutty" I see that she is in pain. I only phone her when I am able to deal with her lack of affection. I answer for my behavior.