Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
You built more of a life in your head with him than it really is. Logically, you do know that he’s just a long distance friend and you heard him when he said it will never be more. But you dreamed, hoped, pined. What you think you are in love with is the him that you dream he is together with you, but that guy doesn’t exist. When you get together, there isn’t even that chemistry, you are really just more friends.
You put your life on hold, didn’t date anyone else, thinking you just want him.
Did you do that because you are actually terrified of a real life relationship?
|
I'm not so much terrified as completely burnt on the few I've had, lets just say, I have a bizarre magnetism for people and relationships, even friendships that really are toxic. I know part of it is because I have all the characteristics of a classic co-dependant. I've tried the lessons in books, counseling, and just trying to pretend I'm not, but, I am, and my personality type and even my general appearance all contribute to the over-all thing. Its so frustrating to me I have isolated myself to keep from letting these toxic types into my life, but this guy is right on the cusp.
Like I said, he's been a really good friend too. Which makes the entanglement even more confusing and difficult to analyze.
I am pretty sure when I say that I have a magnetic draw for people like that, its actually because deep down I believe that this is all there really is. I have known so few people who aren't like that.
I also believe that there are people who aren't like that, who knows where?
I just go through life feeling like I want to introvert like crazy and not get involved with anyone.