T,
I feel like I am sliding down the slippery slope of negativity and I can't stop it. I've already kind of screwed things up and I hate myself for it. I feel like I am being taken advantage of, and I am not sure that is true, but it sure is how I feel. I did something that I wish I didn't and made the person mad. Now I am feeling the repercussions of this. I am trying so hard to keep my head above this but I am failing miserably and I feel like throwing myself off of a ledge.

I feel inferior to this one, holier than thou, judgmental person and I'm so ****ing angry at myself for being such a wimp. I wish you could make this go away, it is so soul destroying. Is this person too close? Am I trying to push her away? I don't trust her, she talks really positively with people and when they leave, she stabs them in the back.

I feel like jumping off of a cliff. I can't take this anymore. My anxiety is way too high, and I can't continue like this nor do I want to. I am going back to being a hide away. I am locking myself in my room at work. I am going to deal with as few adults as I can. I need just to deal with it and do what the **** ever other people want me to do. But this makes me angry. I could wave my white flag but it wouldn't matter because I don't matter. I can't do this. I just can't.