Thank you very, very much to everyone, who read or read and replied. I am immensely appreciative to you for your empathy, advice, input and your kindness in doing so.

Maybe, I should not be questioning such a topic; however, I am been thinking about whether or not she loved me at all at any point in my "relationship" with her. Additionally, I keep on reflecting about both that and how I was and am responsible for her dumping me, not reconciling and for the "relationship" deteriorating to this point of nothingness.

We had some days and nights where we were not all smiles and treating each other so well without issues. I was stressed during the first few weeks and conveyed that to her. I wish that I had been different, not allowed myself to be stressed and for my stress to affect me with her. After the first two weeks or so, I became less stressed and came to admitted to both myself and in general (to whomever) that I could no longer stay because finances.

I do not want to appear, nor do I think that I should appear as if I were not responsible (at all) for what happened and how what happened. As I said, I continually tried to change myself, my approaches with her, apologize, accept responsibility to her and so on from November to two weeks ago, but none of my attempts rekindled us.

Now, I am just trying to move on and be without her as most of you suggested. I still think and reflect on much.