Utterly exhausted and in pain after a busy holiday. Going through nights of sleeping and then not sleeping. Mood is also all over the place. At times I’m euphoric and others very dark. Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind as it races and twists and turns. Really scared I might actually go over the border into true madness soon. Scary stuff. Still, I am managing to keep my happy face on round people so no one is the wiser. Everyone thinks I’m doing great. Even my T dismissed my comment 10 days ago that I felt I was losing my mind. Kind of pissed me off. I told my friend, who I stayed with on my holiday, this and she said that perhaps he chose to let me go on holiday rather than hospitalise me as he knew I would be with her(a social worker/therapist who know my T well - I met her way before she was a T.) I don’t know, maybe he just isn’t taking me seriously. At one point on my holiday my friend wanted to take me to hospital due to severe ideation and some psychosis.

I’m rambling. Basically, I am good right this moment but prone to change swiftly. My physical limitations are getting me down too. I have two weeks before going back to university and the business begins in earnest. Just hope I can cope with the workload.