What is new though, is the holidays really highlighted how much this is a job for him, and while I am a challenging case and kind of street cred for my T, he doesn't have real skin in the game person to person. That IS appropriate, it just doesn't feel very good.

I have this feeling like before breaking up with someone in real life- like a failure of feeling or a central apathy in which my capacity for caring about the relationship is dwindling, but I don't want that to happen. It's weird.