I sent an email with this explanation, that I realized these things and hoped we can maintain a strictly platonic friendship, and I feel very uneasy and uncomfortable about it, but, yeh, taking care of my psychological well being should be a priority for me, and allowing myself to be split in my reality, just isn't good. Although it gave me a sense of hope, it wasn't a healthy preoccupation, now I wait for the reply and I bet it isn't going to be great.
From now on, I'm promising to take care of myself by creating a reality that exists in the here and now. No matter what a person appears to be, if they can't fit into the here and now, I can't waste my time and energy on it.