At first I didn't know what to talk about today. I told T I missed him the whole week. Talking about that led to anxiety, which ended in hyperventilating for half a minute or minute or so. After that I was feeling a bit better. T mentioned how one of my friends usually calms me down during such episodes by hugging me, and since he's my T he couldn't really do that. From there we started talking about my issues around physical touch, especially hugs. He mentioned I might be suppressing something, which triggers lots of confusing emotions whenever I get too close to someone.
Feeling really exhausted after that session, but I guess sleeping will fix that. He mentioned he will be going on vacation for a week after my next session. I might ask him to hold my teddy bear I bring every time for a bit before that, but I'll probably be too scared to manage to do that.
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