How do you think you would feel working with a male therapist? Would you feel safe? Since you had a female therapist last time, maybe working with a male would be the type of change you need. Or you might try a young female therapist--someone you would see as more of an equal.

It is pretty likely though that no matter who you choose there will be some transference or at least attachment. It seems to be pretty inevitable, especially if you work with someone longer term, and you "click" with them. But without that feeling of connection, it's harder to make progress.

The only thing that I've found that makes the pain less intense...and by pain I mean the longing between sessions, etc...is to have as many supports as you can outside of therapy. Friends that you can hang out with help, even if you can't share your deepest secrets with them. Posting here helps. It sounds like your support group could be a big help too. I just think you don't want to have a therapist as your only support if you decide to go back.