View Single Post
 
Old Feb 10, 2018, 07:20 AM
Anonymous40643
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyShadow View Post
I am so glad to see you coming from such a place of clarity and strength, I am SO proud of you, for understanding where you came from, to knowing where you want to go. I KNOW you understand that circle of pain, because I have seen it in your words, and we don't want you back in that mess again, NO WAY!!!

Oh, trust me, I know you want a marriage partner in the long run, I mean all of us do, (even me believe it or not, although I have no intention or plans of changing my situation anytime soon), but I just don't want that thought to weigh heavy on your mind, because in a way, it's some kind of expectation. I am not trying to come down on you for wishing for that, but one of the lessons I learned through all that dating nonsense, is how MUCH expectation I put on whatever idiot I was dating at the time. (Not saying your guy is an idiot in any way, but most of the ones I dated were...well..let's not go there, I will get myself all riled up!)

But all I am saying is keep it as light as you can, and let it develop naturally, and lovingly. You may be surprised what will come out of a relationship that doesn't have the weight of the world coming down on it, especially from your own head.

Either way, ROCK ON!
TY!!!! Your posts are always so encouraging!! I really appreciate you!

And YES... in no NO WAY do I wish to return to that cycle of madness and pain! You're right! It's been a mess! Disastrous!!! I've been through SO many crappy relationships.....

And YES to your statements about expectations. It's so funny that my brain automatically goes there..... I know I need to slow down, live in the moment, and just enjoy someones' presence in my life without thinking this way about a potential marriage. I fantasize all the time in this way with men and put the cart far before the horse! So silly!!

I will slow down and will just get to know this guy better as a friend. I am glad to have a new friend.