Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Just to add I don’t think it’s wrong to ask yourself if a man is marriage material early on. Yes as early as the first date. If you want to be married.
Last two men weren’t marriage or even relationship material and it all ended with heartbreak for golden. It could all be avoided if exploration of who these men are on a deeper level and if they are commitment material was done first, before jumping into it. So yes first date isn’t too early at all. The least thing golden needs is a third heartbreak in jusf few months time. Don’t date men who aren’t marriage material if you want to marry.
I don’t think the issue is asking if he is marriage material. The issue in the past relationships was NOT asking.
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YES, agreed on all points. Last thing I need is yet another heartbreak. And yes, I did not ask myself the most important question before diving in before.
My ex fiance I really thought was a good man before I committed to him. He faked me out. He put on a facade of niceness. He did love bomb me. I saw warning signs and dismissed them because it just felt so good in the beginning.
With the last guy, I was just having too much fun in the beginning, and that's all I was looking for at first. Then I discovered who he really is, which does not bode well for marriage or even a serious relationship.
And yes, I will always be thinking of "is this guy marriage material?" when I first meet them because that is what I want ultimately. Every guy and new friendship I make could have that potential to blossom into something. I am open to that, but I want to be smart and just have friendships right now. That's all. No kissing while out drinking, no spending the night, no hooking up. I want to be fully single...... and I want to enjoy that feeling of empowerment.
I want to feel what Bridget Fonda felt in that movie, Singles. My favorite line in that whole movie is when she says "there is a certain dignity to being single".
That's how I want to feel. I need to feel empowered right now to make decisions and choices that will benefit and serve me well, rather than bad decisions regarding bad men who shouldn't be in my life to begin with. Character. Now I want only ppl in my life with strong character. This new guy seems to have that.