Bah....My stupid mind has created more drama in my life - and in therapy. This time its scrached out the reason I'm in therapy and made my T the target of my depression.

For about 4-5 weeks I've been constantly inventing problems/ways for T to leave me. I first wonna mention I had 2 T's leave me for a new job and 1 because she didnt like me that is why I think these thoughts have started.

My current T of 6months is faboulous, yet I think she's going to go. It started off "Oh i'm not important enough , therefor T will leave me" , "T is gonna get sick of my e-mails, phone class and ditch me/fire me" , "T is gonna stop her practice because of me" " T is gonna stop her practice because she's "overwhelmed" from my letters".......

So me and T have been dicussing this for 3-4 weeks ( since they started ) she smiles and says "so where am I going..maybe you know " ....I tell her ....and she assures me - it was going fine - she kept reassuring me saying "I won't go anywhere" and giving me reasons......

But wednesday.....she was assuring me and brought up a old topic ......"I MIGHT leave and go to texas in the future if she has kids ...but don't worry she has no plans of that".....while T was TRYING to make me feel better she made me feel worse......F***.....first time T has ever made me sad.....what do I do? What if her daughter gets pregnant on accident....OMG......WHAT DO I DO? I've been having nightmares of T leaving....T is my ONLY.....Person other then my parents who gives 2 shits about my health....she cares for me I CAN'T live without her.....I've been crying for days about this now I'm numb.....bah plz help.....plz T don't go!!!!