I see my T weekly and I’m struggling with feeling like my connection to my T starts to fade by the 3rd or 4th day after I see him. It’s like he starts to feel like a figment of my imagination or like he’s not real. Sometimes I then start to feel skeptical about why I’m in therapy, then I see him again and I feel connected and then the process starts over. I’m wondering if others have experienced this or know why this happens? I feel like it would help me to understand on an intellectual level why this happens. Normally, I can just deal with this pattern, but now he’s on vacation so I won’t see him for 2 weeks. I’m already starting to feel like he’s fading and it’s 1.5 weeks until my next appointment. I’m a little concerned that he may fade away completely in my mind and I may convince myself not to go back. As a result, I’ve googled him, I think to try to get some connection back. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) he has almost no online presence, so googling him was not helpful. I’d appreciate any insights or experiences that others might have!
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