Possible trigger-----------------------------------------------

Peanuts,

Truth be told, I blame myself for being in the situation. You have to remember that this was 25 odd years ago. The term "date rape" had not been coined and proving rape in any situation was difficult. I truly hope that we've come a long way since then.
I worked in the summer at a resort and lived on the premise. There were several other girls living there at the time, I was the youngest at 15-16 years old.

I do not recall where the older girls were at the time, but I was at a party and had too much to drink. (One of the reasons that I do not drink to this day.) I passed out in our living room and awoke to this boy 17 kissing me etc and the owners son watching him. I remember telling them that it was time for them to leave. I remember them leaving and I remember locking the door.

The next morning, the owner's son told me that the boy said that he'd come back and slept with me and that he had been surprised that I had been a virgin.

I vaguely remember an image of him in my bed, but nothing else, I figured that was the working of my drunken mind. So I was absolutely positive that the boy in question was bragging and trying to save face. I called him a liar to his face.

A few weeks later, when I was back at home I discovered that he hadn't lied. I did some things at that time that I'm ashamed of and will not repeat. In any event, I was pregnant and all of my attempts to take care of it on my own did not work.

I still had contact with the resort owner's son, and told him of the situation. Looking back now, I realize the following is ridiculous, but at the time, I was 16, pregnant and scared. In the course of events it was decided if I told his parents and mine, we'd wind up getting married, and THAT was not going to happen.

I had an adult friend (friend of my parents) who's sister could not have kids. I told her of my situation and she was positive that her sister would adopt the baby, but I had to get my parents to agree before she would contact her sister. (Thank God, she had that foresight.)

So off I go to tell my parents that I was pregnant. I'm not good at lying and when my father asked who the father was the boy's real name started to come out of my mouth, I altered his last name. This turned out to be a HUGE mistake.

Turns out that the boys parents were from the area, and that my father knew them! So in his mind I was sleeping with complete strangers without knowing their name. When he asked what I planned on doing, I told him that I planned on giving the baby up for adoption to x's sister.

This was the second HUGE mistake. Hindsight being 20/20 I now understand his point of view. He had been abandoned by his mother and that is how he viewed adoption. The decision was made that I would have an abortion. I know now that I had a choice, it just didn't seem like I did at the time.

My relationship with my father was very strained for a long, long time.

Years later, he learned the reality of the situation by accident. My brother and I did not realize he was home (I was married and moved out of the house at this point). I was expressing my concern at my brother's drinking and he brought up my own skeleton, I decided to tell him the reality of the situation. My father overheard the entire conversation and came downstairs crying and said "I didn't know, I'm sorry."

So I don't blame him, I blame the situation. I've tried to educate my children. No means no, and if there is alcohol involved the answer is no whether she says it or not. I’ve gone out of my way to let my daughter know that if she chooses to drink, to make sure that she surrounds herself with people that she trusts implicitly!

I apologize for the length of my answer.