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It sounds like you're feeling pretty overwhelmed and frustrated right now. It makes sense for you to feel that way, and I hope you can find some relief soon.
I'm glad you have SSDI to fall back on when you need it.
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Thinking is my fighting.
Dx: schizoaffective disorder (depressive type), anorexia nervosa (restrictive type), chronic PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, gender dysphoria
Rx: transdermal selegiline, 6 mg
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