Cyran0 -

Thank you for sharing how similar part of your story is - that also cannot have been easy. Interestingly, the age difference between my brother and me is 4 1/2 years as well.

You hit a trigger relating the question your therapist asked you regarding your son. One thing my original therapist asked me was if was so sure my brother was not 'an abuser' would I allow my son (around 4-5 at the time) to sleep over at my brothers house if invited. I replied that I wouldn't want to prolong a sad family issue by assuming my brother would abuse his nephew, especially as he was (and is) married and his wife would notice any odd nighttime activity. Therapist then asked me - "so you're sure that the other adult in the house would be aware of something improper going on between your brother and nephew?" and I replied, "yes". Then came the clincher which opened up a whole other area I need to explore....."Then if you're telling me you and your brother visted each other's bedrooms at night and engaged in sexual acts at least several times/month over the course of several years, how is it that your parents never found out? Were they that out of it or did they know something was wrong but did nothing?" - Wow, powerful question. Haven't really tackled that one yet!

I did end up allowing my son to stay overnight at his aunt and uncles house a few times, but conveniently it only worked out if I was sure my sister-in-law was indeed in town and around, and usually both my son and his older sister slept over at the same time.

Gwydion