I didn’t mean anything negative about you, Eve, or any women in general with my prior observation.

There is something gnawing at me, and I’d just like to point it out. I don’t know if it will help you. I am intending it as constructive criticism. Remember, this is a psych site, and most here, including me, have issues. So take it as you will.

The post is about being single, maybe for life (very dramatic). In this time, as I know you, you have gone from one to another immediately, three men now.

This new guy asked you out. You went “as friends”. What does that mean? I assume that means you each paid for yourselves and there was no touching. However, on the first date, he held your hand because your hands were cold. How did he know your hands were cold? I assume because you told him they felt cold from holding your drink. Therefore, you prompted him to hold your hand...touching.

Now he asked you out for a Valentine’s date. You accepted “as friends”. Again, what does that mean?

From woman to woman, I guess my point is to say to you, I have been working myself over, telling myself this and that, only confusing my whole situation, and making myself and my h miserable. When all that was so unnecessary. If I can just shut up and go along, I can live a happily married life.

I see how you are in essence doing yourself the same disservice. We mess with our own heads, telling ourselves all these things about how we can be happy single when you know damn well you won’t be single for one cotton pickin’ minute. So let’s just be honest with ourselves.

And I am not generalizing about any other women. Some stay single and love it, some hate it, some stay involved and hate it or love it. Some flip flop like I do by the second because I probably have a PD.

Anyway, I hope you have a nice date. Yes, learn about him and see if he is marriage material. By all means, DO NOT actually say you are looking for marriage material to him. Do not use the M word. That will scare him off.

I have lived with my h and had to share everything including intimacy to the most soul baring degree. It is very difficult for me sometimes and i get panic attacks because I am not totally well and he is no prize in dealing with me.

Life is just trying to be the best you can every day and trying to enjoy the beauty around you.

I love how we can communicate here, something magical to me, that would not have been possible without this site. Hugs to all. T