Thank you. I just had big light bulb moment. I'm still emotionally charged from it, at the same time it's put a new spin on things; a better understanding.

I had always known my Uncle Robert lived with us when I was little and that at one point my parents got mad at him because he wouldn't go get a job so they kicked him out and he enlisted in the Navy. When he was discharged, he had married (or met the person he was going to marry). He never lived with us again. I had also known that I had a connection to him and took his leaving very hard.

This weekend, I found out that he was actually there from the time I was born until I was about 2 yrs old. The realization came from the thought/feeling that when he left, I didn't hear from him again... he was just gone and when he did come back it was as if he didn't know me. That I felt like I didn't exist for him while he was gone; he had forgotten me. This is all from the eyes and feelings of a child.

So - T is going far far away (this part says) and she won't be back, not in the same way, she'll forget all about me as if I don't exist ... and such.

It helps knowing where this is coming from and I see T tomorrow, last visit before her trip. She has offered a video visit while she is gone and I think this would be a good thing. I'll talk more with her on if she still thinks it's a good thing based on today's connections.

This stuff is so hard sometimes. Oh and there's lots of other stuff that happened to me between my 2nd and 3rd birthdays that are attachment based stuff.

Thank you for caring. All of you.

ETA: she leaves Tuesday and will be back for my following Monday session