I checked into a women's homeless shelter on Feb 2. The experience is shaming and humiliating as the local drug court sends drug offenders to this shelter as part of their sentence. Mind you, many of them have HOMES. The majority of them are METH addicts. Residents are required to attend all meetings unless you are working. There are 3 AA meetings per week. I got written up for missing a meeting on Thurs because I had a therapy appt scheduled during one of the meetings. SHAME ON ME for having a mental illness!

I've also had to apply for food stamps because it is a requirement for residency since I have no job and I am unable to work. I would prefer to starve than do this, but it is too cold to live in my car right now. There is a possibility that I will be denied because I have more than $100 in my bank account. Today I feel like the only way to go lower than where I am would be 6 feet under. I'm just so tired of fighting and I don't know if I can drag myself back up to continue this fight.

I did get to meet my new therapist on Thursday in another city other than the one in which I live. I felt good about the session as he had double booked the time slot and still took the time to meet with me longer than a normal session. I told him starting the EMDR therapy now might not be the best time as the environment in which I am currently living is not ideal. I requested weekly apps due to the trauma of moving into a homeless shelter.

To top it all off, my vehicle is going to need some work. I started smelling oil a couple of weeks ago. I had hoped it was just because we had some subzero temps off and on for a couple of weeks. No indicator lights on and I think I've spotted some dime size drips. I had a leak in the oil pan repaired during the summer and I'm hoping it's nothing major. I cannot live without my wheels!!!!

I have been assisting my 95 yr young friend every other day which I know is a blessing to us both. I change her portable potty bags, empty trash can, scoop cat litter (box hadn't been cleaned in 6 - 8 was), cook for her occasionally if she requests, do her laundry (another thing that had been neglected) and help her straighten out past due payment notices....for her peace of mind. She's never been late on payments and this situation with 2 late payments on electric and home insurance has been very stressful to her.