do you need/want your T to be something special? does it matter if he/she isn't? why? i hate to do that but that is exactly what my T would say to me. Right now, at this point, i need him to be special, and he is.. he's not magic or anything wacky, but i believe no one can care about me, no one can know me and still like me.. so if i make him into a special case then i can accept some of what he does... it's a transitory thing i hope. Would creating such an aura for you T help?

you're a very guarded person it seems.. is it protection for you?