It's a battle, that is ongoing. You fight really hard, and there is no "off" switch for it. Trust me I understand. Are you on any meds? Do you take them at the same time every day? Do you sleep every day? Are you able to get up and take a shower?

I know those might seem like silly questions, but simple rituals of self-care can help bring your head above water, (kinda like what I feel like the answer of changing of outlook means to me).