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She'd probably be very concerned but I don't think she'd be angry with me or anything.
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My suggestion is to keep in the back of your mind the possibility of telling her. Just an open awareness of this possibility. Your mind will be working on this and you may (or may not) come to see some benefit to taking the risk of telling her.
What about telling your friend? If okay to ask, what is your thinking on that?
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I think the reason I'm ashamed of the cutting is that I feel like it goes against the "rule" that you're not supposed to hurt yourself. Feels like it's unethical somehow.
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I wonder if this thought of your connects with or arises from autism. As you know, people who have autism are thought to be very interested in rules, structure. Others could have this thought as well, not just those with autism--but even so I am just wondering if you see any particular connection or intensification of a connection there. Maybe you don't!
