I'm a 22 y/o girl. I come from a dysfunctional family, which is one of the reasons that led me to struggle with mental health from a very young age.

When I was a child my father was phsysically absent for the most of the time because of his job. When he was home he used to be physically and emotionally abusive towards me and my mother.
My mother took care of me when it came to basic physical needs, but she was emotionally absent and she wouldn't do anything to protect me and herself from the abuse. In fact, I had no option but to become her emotional support from very young age. She always looked very fragile and vulnerable, and I felt like I was responsible of taking care of her. This led me to not having any kind support myself.

I remember getting too attached to teachers since I was like 5, and since then I've been constantly looking for a mother figure in every adult woman that I had the chance to get close to.
I'm an adult myself now and I still struggle with this. I often feel intimidated by women that seem "strong, secure, independet..." (and all the things I needed my mother to be when I was a child), and it's almost like I go back to a stage where I feel like I'm still that helpless little girl.

I was in therapy for 4 years until like a year ago. As you can probably imagine, I got too attached to my therapist and this made me feel more hopeless and stuck, and it made recovery harder. It was a very painful experience and it didn't end up well.

Since I quitted, I've been working with my Pdoc and I've come a very long way, but I still miss my ex-T at the times when I'm feeling the most vulnerable.

After a year trying to get better on my own and with my Pdoc's help, I've decided that it could be beneficial for me to try some different sort of therapy than the one I was doing before I quitted.

The thing is, I'm going through a delicate period of my life lately and I'm already feeling very vulnerable (which makes it more likely for me to seek for a mother figure or long for someone who will make me feel safe). I'm very scared about this. I don't want it to happen again because I don't feel like I'd be able to go through all of that again without relapsing into depression and self-destructive behaviors.

However, the other day someone from my support group told me that if I have this problem with women (specially authority figures -which is how I used to look at my ex T -), I should try to overcome it by developing a secure attachment with a female T instead of running away from it.
I feel like it would be much more difficult for me to feel secure and open up in this kind of situation, but I also wish this story could stop repeating itself someday. Any opinions?