I've been to DBT therapy, I've been in a DBT program until about a month ago it did not help me.

I used to think the relationship failing was both our faults, but if he picked up a different relationship just a month after we broke up and stayed in that relationship all this time, and they are now moving in together (two-something years later), how can it not be entirely my fault??? If it was a problem with him it would have manifested in this new relationship as well and they would not be moving in together. Logically the problem cannot be him, it was/is me.

My dream was to live a life with him, I was extremely happy in my time with him - it was the first and last time in my life I felt at peace and felt secure. I had goals and a future and it felt like I could actually reach them.

My dream was to continue that life - now they are living that life happily and i don't understand why it's not me. I don't understand what i did to fail at that dream so badly that it went to someone else and has since then kept going to someone else with every guy I meet.

I am sitting with shards of different possible lives that were none nearly as happy for me as that one. I'm angry because I can't understand what is happening, I work just as ****ing hard at my relationships as everyone else - why does this keep happening??? I apply theories, and go to therapy, and take advice, and really think about everything I ****ing do to the point that I'm a ****ing nervous wreck 24/7 - I try really hard to learn from my mistakes in each relationship but then I end up getting the same ****ing feedback when the relationship fails - but I KNOW I changed the input so WHY THE **** is the output still problematic?????

**** human beings - seriously **** human beings. and **** psychologists, they can't help for ****.