Well, I have never met any of my cousins, not really. Just friends on FB/ig. So they are like strangers. Some of them I didn't even realize existed until I was in my mid teens. I have a older male cousin who is pretty attractive and has a good personality. I probably would get a crush on him if we actually met. It doesn't mean anything. Just... don't act on it? I mean, you could, but it might be emotionally complicated for you if you're already feeling guilty. You must have a very built up sense of what family is, and that's a good thing. How long have you known your cousin? If you're really feeling bad about it, just avoid him or find a flaw. I wouldn't recommend acting on it.