What great questions, Ledgewood. I think it also has to do with how much one values their word and whether they have issues with evaluating situations, how important they deem a particular promise.

I think it is all right to break promises if they cannot be fulfilled but it is not fault of the promiser. Promising a child a particular present or outing they're looking forward to then losing a job or something else unexpected that causes the "plans" to be changed, I would feel badly for the child if I had to break such a promise but I wouldn't feel it was my "fault" or guilty and beat myself up over it.

My grandmother promised to give me a horse before she died, when I was 4; I didn't learn until well after her death (and no horse :-) that she had grown up on a farm and had enjoyed horses, had a special one even. I don't feel bad that I didn't get a horse and it was pleasant at the time to be promised one, have that in the back of my little head to think about :-)

I think it takes two to make a promise and fulfill, break, or disappoint with it. A promise to me is just a kind of hope; it's talking about the future and since none of us can tell the future and what it might bring, I guess I think it's a good idea to stick words to the effect "if I am able" (and the creeks don't rise :-) in there somewhere when making it. Last week my dentist office called to remind me of my appointment (a promise that I'll "attend") the next day and I said I'd be there if the weather cooperated. I think that's wholly acceptable.