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Old Feb 12, 2018, 06:40 PM
nat.cassidy nat.cassidy is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
I'm curious to know, what are the bumpy obstacles you've been facing? It seems from what you've written that there are continued arguments.. what are these about? Have you called it quits again with him since that one fight?

If you've broken up again after he kissed someone, then I would be concerned as well about him doing this again.

It seems important to you to want to address the issues. You could tell him, I know you're busy, but please tell me when we can discuss these things. I need for you to set some time aside.

Long distance relationships are NOT easy. It takes more work in my opinion for it to really work out long-term. It takes strong communication skills. And since he's military, there will be other long distance periods in your relationship. Solid trust and strong communication will be needed.

Now, he kissed someone while you were broken up, so that doesn't constitute cheating, but it's understandable that you may feel more insecure now.

You're gonna have to work on trust with him and on resolving any conflicts/arguments. I would suggest trying to resolve the argument before he goes out for the night, if possible. If not, then you could tell him, let's resolve this is the morning, and I trust that you're not going to do anything that would hurt our relationship just because we're arguing right now... I know that happened while we were broken up, but I just need to trust that it won't happen again.

That kind of thing doesn't need to be said every time, but it may be good to communicate just once.

Also, why did you get so frustrated with him to the point of calling it quits with him? To me, this spells trouble... whenever I have done that myself, the relationship eventually ended, by my own doing. It indicates that something is wrong.... I am not saying yours will be the same, but it's not a good sign. It's a sign of something not working well enough.
I think it's the part where it was less than 5 hours of us falling out that the kiss incident took place. And his excuse was that he was hurt and heartbroken and he didn't care about anything. i think that's what makes me insecure that I felt so disrespected from him doing something like that in that small time frame. It's almost like whenever we get into an argument now and he goes out for the night, I get anxious and feel like it would happen again. Or I instantly get annoyed when he tells me he's going out for the rest of the night. It's so hard to shake it and he doesn't understand how much that has scarred me because I've never done anything remotely close to that. I don't remember the specifics of the fight but i do remember us being upset and instead of him talking it out, he was too busy at a house party and go super drunk and made the situation even worst because he stopped drunk calling me and i got frustrated at that point.