i think maybe tonight didn't happen. maybe it only happened in my head. imagined.
i feel invisible. unreal. out of place.

did i speak
if nobody heard
if nobody glanced
if no one saw
did i speak at all?

do i exist
if nobody sees
if nobody else
exists here beside
am i alive?

do i feel
if nobody cares
if nobody shares
if nobody knows
am i a ghost?

---

S
do you remember me
at all
why did i lose you?
how did i lose you?
how did i become such nothing?
a year ago, i loved you and thought you loved me.
a year ago, i had you and thought you had me.
a year ago, i could reach for you. right now. in the invisibleness. in the nothingness.
a year ago, i existed because you saw me.
and now i'm faded
blurred at the edges
undefined, degraded over time
i'm old. i'm worn. i've lost my luster.
i was only a human after all. only a person. only a face, a name, a heart, a body, a brain.
only flesh and blood. only real if you chose to see me as such.
and now i am a photograph
in a book
like a bookmark set at a chapter that will never turn, never begin, and never end
i mark the middle of
a story started and abandoned.

---

I talked about it today. Things I never told you. Things I wish so badly I could run to you with right now. I want to call you and say "I found them - the memories. The things we knew were there. Do you care?"
Do you care?