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Originally Posted by maybeblue
How do you think you would feel working with a male therapist? Would you feel safe? Since you had a female therapist last time, maybe working with a male would be the type of change you need. Or you might try a young female therapist--someone you would see as more of an equal.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
It's hard to say. As others have mentioned, it's possible to develop a strong maternal/paternal attachment to either gender of T. As for being able to work through it, I think much depends on whether the T feels comfortable with that sort of work and how good a fit he/she is for you. You may just have to try out a new T (or maybe 2 or more) to see what feels right. Would you consider trying a male T?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat
do you have a preference for a female t? I personally have a strong preference for a male because an early abuser was female. Some people have no preference or even have issues with both.
If you feel a pull or craving to have a female t it may be an opportunity to heal these early issues. The problem only comes when the “fit” is not a good one. If you need a mother figure and you have a cold and clinical cal therapist things will not go well.
Can you interview therapists and see what your gut feeling is? Maybe try interviewing s guy too? But I do agree with Elio- even a male therapist can feel like s parent so there may be no avoiding it. On the plus side, from my own experience, male therapists can be very kind and nurturing.
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Thank you so much for your replies. I’ve never worked with a male T before, but I do belive that I would feel safe (at least that’s the impression that I have now). Although of course things could turn out different than I expect once I try this. I do agree that transference could occur in either case.
I think feel more secure around men in general in my personal life, (as when it comes to friends or opening up to someone).
I feel that way with the poeple in my support group too. I don’t feel as vulnerable and I don’t get as obsessed with the idea that they will leave.
And yes, I have the option to interview different therapists. I agree that this is something important to do, because I made the mistake to pick the first one that was recommened to me in the past; and stayed with her for too long even though therapy wasn’t working.
I contacted a therapy center that someone I trust recommended me, and I think I have the possibility to choose between a few professionals that work there. I’m waiting for them to message me back but I’ll let you know how it goes
