Death by eating disorder...

my friend of 20 some years died last week... cause of death... eating disorder...

this person is my family....

I am "screaming" in the Eating Disorder's forum.. and I don't feel "heard"... "respected".. "comforted"... "understood"...

I appreciate the people that posted on my thread.. I do.. I really do...

and why...do I feel the way I do....

Because no one understands that an Eating Disorder is not the same as a "cold"... that Eating Disorders take lives..

That I have an Eating Disorder...and.. I am trying so hard.. to get help.. from my family... from my doctors.. BUT... they do not.. "get" the recovery process...

That putting the effort into my friend... took every oz of my energy...

The healing within the physical body... that needs to take place... the extreme limitaions.. that end of the stage Eating Disorders does to the body... when your body say no more.. and simply shuts down...

I understand why my friend "gave up"....I am angry .... I tried and tried and tried to help her.. and she turned me down..

I scream.. and scream.. and scream for help.. and I cannot make people understand the complexities of having the end stages of an ED... with the asthma.. and the fibro.. and the IBS...and the inability to digest protein...and food..

Yes... I understand my friend... because.... I want to give up too..

just to "heck" with it...