I am attached to feeling better, and I like my pdoc and T as a help to get there.

And yeah, sure, there's the occasional 'SAVE ME!' thought involved, but in the same way you'd have that thought of an orthopaedic surgeon when you're in excruciating pain. Or of a fireman when trapped in a burning car.

I have been truly attached only once, to a teacher. It wasn't fun for either of us. She was our class teacher (teacher responsible for supporting our class in school). We'd always gotten along well, but then I needed help (depressed, suicidal) and she was the only adult who would listen to me and take me seriously. I thought about her a lot, and told her things a class teacher isn't equipped to deal with. Eventually she 'spilled' to our year coordinator (year coordinator asked her how I was doing and she burst out crying). We made up (I also wrote her a poem, which REALLY shames me now - it was a lot like the song Because You Loved Me, but worse. Not really appropriate to send to a teacher.) and talked less 'excessively' after that. However, when I was in The Hell and being medically tortured, I thought about her all the time, in particular because I knew she wouldn't stand by and do nothing, and she'd take me away from there if she'd known what was going on. That thought probably saved me back then.
I idolized her.. she couldn't do anything wrong in my eyes even when she did. But the thought 'she'll help/save me' helped immensely when I was so depressed (not during the torture though, because I knew she wasn't aware), because it gave me a little hope. Else it would have been 'No one can save me.'
I now know there's a word for what I experienced: maternal transference. And maybe therapeutic transference, in that I made her my substitute T because I needed one and she was the only one available.