You can do whatever you need to do. That's obvious because you have the strength and clarity to see things as they are rather than as you might like them to be. Don't forget to take your son with you on this journey--try family counseling for his sake; for you all to heal as a family. Regardless if you leave the marriage, that's his father forever so you are linked by him. Sounds like he's crying out for help by acting out. Help him, he needs you. Peace to you on the next chapter of the journey!