Today is day 2 of 50mg less of lamictal and its looking better then yesterday. I talked to my manager about the situation at work and I feel better about it although I don't know the ultimate outcome. Yesterday was a rough day but if that was the worst that will happen from my decision to go off my medication then I guess I'm okay.
I still feel like crap, but that might be from the 12oz of cold brew I drank this morning.
I suppose I am even a little more accepting today that I have "bipolar disorder" and I say it in quotes because my t doesn't really care about "diagnosis" and doesn't want me to get hung up on labels, so I'll try not to.
I'm still mad at my p doc however for putting bipolar mixed moderate on my lab slip instead of ptsd as I spent 10 years on the sidelines due to ptsd but maybe eventually I'll forgive him...