Don't think it's stupid at all. For me healing from CSA has included being sad about what I might have done/become if that experience hadn't derailed me. I wonder if I would have followed my creative spirit (writing) rather than academic pursuits. In other ways-- I suspect this is true for many survivors-- that experience gave me other skills/interests/yearnings that led me to the career I have now, where I am able to help other survivors. And I'm now working on a creative writing project, so it's never too late.

Congratulations on your awesome creative achievements, too.