Today’s session didn’t go well at all this morning at all. I woke up nervous decided to borrow a cigarette from my sister ( I barely smoke if ever) I got to the office thinking maybe today’s session will go good. She seemed sorta in a good mood but then when I started mentioning how depressed and how tired I’ve been she asked why? I mentioned honestly I think it’s the medicine for the thousandth time like I always mention and she says no it’s working you seem like you are happy. I am happy I just smoked a cigarette beforehand to calm my nerves but I said yes I am happy I Smoked a cigarette before I got here but naturally she brushed it off and said it was the medicine that was making me happy. I told her I can handle whatever side effects that happen to me I know I’ve gotten sick in the past but honestly I can work past that now. Naturally she shuts me down and says nope we need to increase the dose and furthermore the medication you suggested prestiq the last time ya she started rambling on and on how bad it was. Really? Am I hearing this?? She tells me do I need to call your sister to go over the medication increase? Wow.. My sister goes in a few sessions and suddenly she is treating me like a child again like I can’t take care of myself. I often wonder if we don’t click because she’s more proper and always dressed really nice ( just like my sister) Whereas I’m more tomboyish and really don’t care about style. I’m not saying that’s a possibility but she did really click with my sister in the sessions always laughing whereas I was kinda invisible and then she’d ask me the occasional question. I just don’t think she likes me either that or she’s irritated with me I just can’t tell. I just get irritated whenever I leave the office.