I am immensely appreciative to you all for reading or reading and replying with kindness, support, advice and input in general.

It is amazing that such a community and forum is accessible on the internet and such caring people host and frequent it.

I still reflect on responsibility in her dumping me, why she did so, preceding events and so on, if I was responsible, for how much I was responsible in general and the level of my responsibility in the aforesaid topics. I also still hold myself responsible.

Additionally, I am still trying to figure out if she ever loved (or even loves) me at all. In my humble opinion, possibilities abound. Moreover, there is plenty of evidence that she never did, but there is also evidence that she did. Maybe, I am engaging in self deception apropos of claiming that there is evidence of her loving me, maybe, I am not. As I said, in an attempt to analyze the history, me, her and so forth objectively, there seems to be so many possibilities as for her perspective(s), feeling(s) (or lack there of) and so on.