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Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker
Once i couldnt see my T for 6 months i used to talk to him and imagine him cuddling me when i went to sleep, not in a sexual way just as a comfort thing.
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I am finding myself in a similar place... like I said I am on an eight-month break and I often imagine us hanging out, for instance this weekend I was traveling and imagining what it would be like if we went on vacation together.
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Originally Posted by besidemyselvez
Yes. Usually it is when I am doing something I shouldn't, some unhealthy behavior. That's when I hear her asking about it, why I'm doing it and what strategies I have tried to move past it. That is normally enough to spur me into action because I want to be able to tell her that I tried my best..... I may have this desire to make her proud of me though and I am not sure that is 100% healthy... lol
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I think I do the same thing, I definitely have a desire of people (definitely including T, but not just her) to be proud of me. Usually however I think of how T would react before I do an unhealthy behavior... and then I do it anyway, and I feel guilty
I also try to make her proud in other ways though, for instance last month I was considering dropping a class that was very difficult but then I imagined coming back in eight months and telling her about this difficult class that I persevered through, and just thinking that she might be proud of me for that was enough to make me stay in the class.
I'm not sure that wanting to make your T proud is necessarily unhealthy, but maybe feeling guilt over hypothetical disappointment that your T hasn't actually expressed might be a bit unhealthy? I'm not really sure.