This thread is probably a mistake. But who knows?
I'm always comparing my problems / life / childhood / family to other people's. NOT like a lot of people might (why do other people have it better than me, why is my life so difficult?), but kind of the opposite (everyone has problems. Sooo many people had more difficult childhoods than me. Everyone has messed up families, mine is really not anything to be anxious about, etc.). I sort of torture myself about how my problems aren't that bad and just feel ashamed for wanting help / attention. And I get really angry at myself because part of me WANTS my problems to be worse so that it would be more reasonable for me to need help (how f**d up is that?)

My T says it's partly because I don't want to accept that I need / want attention from him / want to feel safe and paid attention to by him. And partly because, when I was a kid, I was sort of given the message that things were not as bad as I felt they were when I was scared. But I was sort of able to ignore all of this before therapy...I didn't WANT so much then

Even coming to this forum was probably a bad idea- I'll read other people's stories and then feel guilty / ashamed because I really have not had a very difficult life, so why do I let myself get so anxious, and why do I need to join a forum like this one?

Whenever I tell someone something personal about things I've struggled with or difficult things I've experienced, I feel kind of guilty and ashamed afterwards. Like, did I just want them to feel bad for me? Ugg... I feel the same way about this post.

I'm just kind of feeling disgusted with myself right now, and I really can't / don't share this issue with anyone besides my T IRL, so I'm sharing it here. Hopefully I won't regret it...