Honestly, I've been following this thread every day, and it really has lifted my thoughts. Thank you all for being open and honest, thank you for acknowledging that being single at times like this, holidays, etc. can be so hard on you.
Thank you for the people who have found healthy ways of dealing with this emotional pain, and thank you to those who say they cry now.
I am holding a big lump in my throat for those who are crying now because I woke up today, and went about my business as if it were just another day. I totally forgot it was the big V day. And for a minute, when I remembered, I started to feel a sense of dread, and then sadness too. But, it passed, I don't have anyone to feel sad about, since I put everything into perspective.
Not too long ago I would have sent something "valentiney" to him just to let him know I care and am thinking of him, ha ha, I know it was just supply for him, and he doesn't want something like that from me, so I have a sense of relief knowing that I am not looking like an idiot for doing that, and that I'm not going to stress all day because I'm not going to get something in return.
I don't even care today if I ever do if it means I have to be hurt by it.
Yay for no flowers preemptively buttering me up before some kind of catastrophe! Hurray for no cards with sentiments that don't belong to the sender.
Hurray for no landmines, and labyrinthine guesswork!
Hurray for no abuse, no disappointment, no lies!
And now, to celebrate me living through another year of no bs, I will do something for me, just enjoy this being just another day.