i tried for 33 years. Tons of blow ups & ultimatiums before finally losing it. I felt so trapped those last 13 years because financialli I had no way out & he fought divorce....he finally told me why....."because it would make him look likeva failure"....he didnt give a darn about me or the marriage. I got so depressed living like that , that suicide became my only choice. I tried more times than I can even remember not trying to get him to listen but because I just wanted OUT!!!! Well obviously I wasn't successful though came close several times but now I am thankful I wasn't successful because lufe wirhout him has become amazing & the first time living on my own.

The point of being pushed to the anger point of seeing red scared me right before I left. He started iff with some sice stuff thrown in but mistly life wirh him was just totally stressful. I firced him to care for our daughter when first born because I had a c-section & never connected with babies in tje first place. He had been the oldest of 4 kids so he knew how to care for babies so he had no choice because I had no interest in caring for a baby. The things I totally refused to do, he did some of them....other things just wemt undone until their problem became a priority I had to handle. It got worse as years passed & my tolerance wore thin. Most don't expect what I expected in my marriage relationship especially not back in the 70's but it never grew & there was no emotional connection though I guess he thought there was & forget communication. It was continually like I was married to a child & he was PROUD of being like that always bosting "I'm a toys RUs kid I will never grow up" cute maybe when 22 but definitely not attractive at 55.

Your partner may be higher functioning is certain areas that make it tolerable compared to what I experienced since spectrum disorders are so very individual anyway & so are our tolerance levels.

beware about having kids because this can definitely be inherited or at least the tendency toward it...just something to think about. Caring for a H & a child would double the stress.

I know you will work out what is BEST FOR YOU. Knowingbwhat we are dealing with I think can help because all those years before leaving & finding out what I had been dealing wirh I just thought he was being abusive with his behaviors & doing it all intentionally. Now I know I still would NEVER go back to living like that again but it has helped mebrid my feelings of hate & anger toward him & niw look at his behaviors understandingbwhete they are coming from. Just wish he would get diagnosed because he needs a cinservator orvat leastva payee & that can't be gotten with just a dx of adult ADD ehich is something that goes along quite iften with ASD.