Something has been really bugging me hoping you all could help me think it through. About a week and a half ago I was really struggling after 2 back to back T and EMDR appointments. Some of my thoughts scared me. I NEVER call T in fact I have 2xs in 10 years as I don't want to disturb here. Both those times were an emergency. I sent her an email telling here I was struggling and asked if we could talk on the phone. She emailed me back saying that she understands that I am struggling but that it could quite possibly make thing worse and that I should teach out to my other support system people. And asked If EMDR T and I discussed how I should handle the emotions after an apointment. She thought I wanted to further discuss the topic I had discusses in both my appointments. That was totally not what I wanted. I wanted to talk about the horrific thoughts. Not something I could tell friends or hubby. Nor something I wanted to put in an email. So we ended the emails with we would discuss everything at my next appointment . I was upset because I thought since I never call her it was important. At our next appointment we discussed all the coping skills I had tried before and after reaching out to her. I also told her what had happened and the thoughts and the severity. She obviously knew I was in a horribly painful place. At the end of the session ahe dis the normal "Will you safe to drive home, what are you plans for the night" type stuff. I told her I would be safe.

On occasion she reached out through email the day after a hard session. It has been a couple of days...nothing. I am so mad and hurt right now. My mood has tanked becase of a my Ptsd being triggered. I have these horrible harmful thoughts and I am on my own. She has always been there to guide me through this. I could email her I suppose like I always do when I am struggling. But feel like a huge bother and it would be inappropriate.

Feeling like EMDR may be the worst decision of my life.