CJ-
Wow. You have a lot on your plate. It cannot be easy for either you or your family to have these long separations. It's not a surprise that you may feel like you can't 'Trust' people when you're dealing with people in Iraq that you can't trust, TV & Movies tell us we can't trust our spouses/girl/boyfriends, it's also widely talked about amongest friends in the military afraid their spouses/girl/boyfriends are being faithful,etc. To 'not trust' people is practically drilled into us from every direction. I don't know how you should go about building this trust again with yourself and your wife.
If you two have given each other a reason not to trust each other than your trust isses would be understandable.
If there's been nothing that's happened to betray your trust with your wife,as you already know, you have trust issues to work on.
Looking into your past further..childhood, relationships, etc. Did you have trust issues then too? Ask yourself: How? When? Where? Why? Certain behaviors may trigger the negative thinking.
Check this out:
http://www.coping.org/growth/trust.htm
some info here for you.
I realize you are a contractor and have to travel for the job...But are you being 'made' to go or are you going because you're using your job travel as an excuse to 'get away' from something happening at home?
I hope you find the answers you are looking for. I sympathize for all the stress you all must be understand.
Peace*
Ocean13
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cjnukem36 said:
hi,
well, hmmmm... uhuhhmmm...lets see, im 36 , married 6 years have 3 children 14 y/o from a previous disaster and a 3 & 5 y/o from an impending disaster. currently i am overseas as a Private contractor working in Iraq. this is my 3rd year here with a 13 month break inbetween year 2 & 3. I love my wife and my children with all my heart and would do nothing to hurt them... at least on purpose... see, i have a problem. TRUST
and its destroying my wifes feelings for me and making us fight all the time which isnt very good due to the fact that im 7k miles away. hmmm, where to start, well, even though she has stuck with me through my problems and constant accusations and fighting and has never given me any concrete reason to think she would be unfaithful and is a great wife and reassures me all the time until she's blue in the face , i still have these bad thoughts and stories i tell myself when she's out with friends or at work or lately even at home. i do not have any support over here, i'm here to work and my family is dependent on this money , but if i dont fix this it will be my ex- wife is dependent on this money. i'm rambling:/ srry , feels good to let it out to someone other than my wife ... she is aware of these problems and has been for 5 yrs (yes, its been going on since we got married) and we have tried many things... but this is new for me. i am willing to do anything at all to learn anything to help ....so....nice to meet you all and hope omeone has some experience with this.
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