LEATHERMAN-

I agree with everyone that you and your wife should seek marriage counseling. It's hard to know how to relate to each other when you both come from families where they relate by 'hurting' other people without any concern for their actions and the harm they are really doing.

It's also not surprising that you two may lose sight of all the love and plans you've had together with all the crazy stuff going on.

It sounds like you're really good at putting up walls where someone's words can bounce off of you and you can walk away doing whatever you want to do, without any consideration for anyone else. This can escalate and getting help is a good idea.

These actions are seen by the children. They aren't blind. Children see, hear, and learn from your every action,word, emotion, etc. This is something they will believe to be the 'right way'. They too one day may have relationships much like you. You can help them. You can help them learn the correct way to handle things. Before it can harm them or your grandchildren one day.

Best Of Luck***

OcEaN