jbug, helping people learn to "fix" themselves is important...but, not at the expense of your own sanity. You need to help yourself first.

I am not sure how to say this...but fixing other people means they will grow dependent on others to fix them...the best thing you can do is lead by example. Help her by showing her how strong you are...show her how a person takes care of themselves. Teach her that helping herself is the most important thing she can learn to do. Maybe that means you need to back off for awhile and regroup.

I agree, this has opened the door to some healing...