Thanks all.

It is complicated that is for sure. The interesting part is that I have always had such conflict surrounding my father because when I was a young child he was an abusive drunk. It was only when I got older and he sobered up that I have good memories. So, Jello, I am sitting real close to the risk (thanks) and that is how I was able to get this insight.

It has taken me a long, long time to know that it is okay to take the time I need to re-establish trust with T. It's not something that I can do at will. There are two people in this relationship. Trust building requires effort on both parts. I have checked myself on this, and I know I am not building walls, nor am I punishing him. I am just being cautious.

The healing part is that if this had occurred at any prior point in my life I would have just put him out of my life and not let him back in. Period.

Peace